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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735922">The start of something new</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessian_trash_heap/pseuds/nessian_trash_heap'>nessian_trash_heap</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Azriel is a softie, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gentle Sex, Gentleness, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Some angst, Vaginal Fingering</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:46:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,820</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735922</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessian_trash_heap/pseuds/nessian_trash_heap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of developing a close friendship, Azriel and Gwyn realize their affection for one another has grown.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azriel/Gwyneth Berdara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>255</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. In her eyes, a peace</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Gwyn's past is obliquely referenced, but the focus is much more on the here and now for her. If that is too triggering, please let me know and I will change the  warnings and tags.</p><p>As it goes for all of my fics, this thing is barely edited, apologies for any weirdness/errors.</p><p>All characters in this fic belong to Sarah J Maas.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gwyn and Azriel admit their feelings for each other</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">Azriel was dragging it out, that exquisite gentle pain of realizing one wants something, then denying oneself. He and Gwyn had developed a friendship, a true bond, especially after she won the blood rite. Since then, they had a casual standing “date” of tea and talk most evenings. It was the part of Azriel’s day he looked forward to most, whenever their busy schedules could accommodate it. No topic was forbidden in the cozy sitting room beside the fire. Noteven Azriel’s childhood, locked in a cell in his father’s keep. Not even what happened in that horrible temple. He still hated himself for not getting there sooner. Just minutes earlier, and Gwyn wouldn’t have—</p>
<p class="p2">Azriel shut those thoughts down. They’d discussed it in one of their many nightly discussions over tea in the House. When he saw her again at training, for the first time since her rescue, seen how far she’d come in so many ways, that his shadows were excited in her presence, even singing for her…he needed to know her. And he was so ashamed to ask, didn’t think he had the right, but wanted her forgiveness nevertheless.</p>
<p class="p2">The look in her stunning ocean eyes melted some icy, raging part of his heart as she placed a slender hand on his. Gently squeezed. It brought him back into his body, into the present. Got him to look at her when she said, “What happened to me—it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known any sooner than you did, and when you got there you saved me. I am alive because of you. Just as I recognize what happened to me wasn’t my fault, either.”</p>
<p class="p2">Azriel’s eyes welled at that, all self-loathing disappeared, his anger forgotten as he marveled at her. One more of his walls came down for her.</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p3">###</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p2">They started out slowly, so achingly slowly, becoming friends gradually. Azriel was focused on letting her set the pace. Wasn’t even sure she was interested in him like that, or anyone, but he would take whatever she would give him. If she never sought out anything remotely romantic from him, Azriel wouldn’t mourn what might have been, but rejoice in being able to claim her as a friend.</p>
<p class="p1"> </p>
<p class="p2">Then one night, as they sipped their evening tea in the sitting room of the House, he noticed a shift between them; almost imperceivable. The air felt thicker, strained. Gwyn’s scent had altered slightly and she seemed nervous, setting her tea down in its saucer with a shake and clatter before rushing to her feet. “Well, um, I should get going,” she said and turned to go. Azriel turned and took a step toward her, but stopped himself from getting any closer.</p>
<p class="p2">“Is everything alright?” he asked.</p>
<p class="p2">Gwyn turned to face him, locked her beautiful teal eyes on Azriel’s hazel ones. He took a breath and that’s when her scent truly hit him. Her face flushed as she watched comprehension dawn on his. “This was a mistake, I’m sorry, I—“ she turned to go again but stopped.</p>
<p class="p2">“Gwyn, wait,” he said. “You don’t have to go. We can talk if you want, or not,” he trailed off. Hope had bloomed in his chest and he was walking a fine line of letting it blossom while not scaring her off.</p>
<p class="p2">“I know you just want to be friends,” she said as she turned back around to face him again. “I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away with these thoughts.” With that she clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide, then covered her face with both hands as a new wave of pink and red fell across it.</p>
<p class="p2">Azriel took a step toward her, then perched on the back of the chair he’d just vacated. “Gwyn, two things—first, I would love to hear more about those thoughts,” he said with a grin, knowing that his own scent was changing as he spoke. One deep breath from Gwyn and she’d understand how he felt about her. “Second, but most importantly,” he continued, “of course I want to be friends. But that doesn’t mean I’d only want to be friends. I would love to explore being more than that with you, if that’s what you want.”</p>
<p class="p2">Gwyn peeked over her fingertips and slowly let them fall away. “Why didn’t you say anything?” she asked.</p>
<p class="p2">“I didn’t want to push,” Azriel said quietly, and shrugged. His beautiful face looked a little dopey in that moment, and Gwyn could help but grin at his sudden shyness.</p>
<p class="p2">“Ever the gentleman,” Gwyn said softly. Azriel stared at her, that free smile opening up her face, the blush on her cheeks. Some of his shadows were perched on her shoulder and in her hair, and to him, she had never looked more lovely.</p>
<p class="p2">He ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you would want…me,” he said. “Shadowsinger. High Lord’s spymaster and grand torturer, and all that.” He waved a scarred to gesture to himself. “Not after—everything.” He cringed inwardly.</p>
<p class="p2">“Because that’s all you are, right?” Azriel winced at her words, even if her tone was sarcastic. Gwyn took a few steps toward him and stopped, looking down at her hands, fidgeting. “You know, the first time I saw you again after you saved me, in the training ring that day my heart stopped. The most beautiful male I had ever seen, the one who literally saved my life and the lives of countless others, was back. He was here, he was real. Not a dream, but a dark, beautiful knight who rescued me.” Gwyn looked up at him. “This isn’t hero worship. I was grateful—am grateful, but I want you to know this isn’t that.” She swallowed and went on. “I’m so much stronger now, in so many ways. I don’t need saving anymore. But there are other things I’d like to explore.” Gwyn’s eyes flicked to the side and back up at him again. “I like you Azriel. A lot. Which you can, um, probably tell by now,” she said and laughed, and it eased something in Azriel’s heart.</p>
<p class="p2">“I like you, too. Have from the moment I saw you in that ring. Your beauty and fearlessness, your kindness—I see it all.” He pushed off the chair and closed most of the distance between them, leaving the final step for Gwyn to make, his hands in his pockets. He looked deep into her eyes. “I believe you mentioned something about getting ‘carried away’ with certain ‘thoughts’,” he teased. His voice took on a sultry tone as he asked, “Anything you’d like to share with the rest of the class?”</p>
<p class="p2">Heat flared in Gwyn’s face once more, and pooled in her core.</p>
<p class="p2">“Something to do with all that smut Nesta’s got you reading?”</p>
<p class="p2">“Maybe,” she whispered.</p>
<p class="p2">“I’d love to hear all about it some time.”</p>
<p class="p2">Sometime, he’d said. But not now. Disappointment filled Gwyn’s face. “Oh,” was all she said and turned to go.</p>
<p class="p2">“I’m not saying we can’t or shouldn’t get into it tonight,” Azriel said. She turned back again. “I’m open to whatever you want to do, to try, at your pace.” She looked up at him, the way his eyes had gone molten even as the rest of his face remained open. Honest.</p>
<p class="p2">“My pace,” she said.</p>
<p class="p2">“Always.”</p>
<p class="p2">She took a step forward and placed a gentle hand on his chest. He hitched a breath and knew she could feel his heart hammering away. It softened something in her face and she looked up at him. “What about a kiss?” she asked.</p>
<p class="p2">“I can do that,” he said. Azriel took his hands out of his pockets, placed one at her waist. With the other he gently caressed her throat with the tips of his fingers as he cupped the back of her head and neck. Gwyn brought her other hand to his abdomen and rose up on her toes as he angled down to meet her. Their kiss was a gentle, timid, searching thing at first. Her soft lips on his cleared his mind of anything but her. She drew back and opened her eyes to look into his.</p>
<p class="p2">“Another?” she asked. Azriel smiled.</p>
<p class="p2">“As many as you’d like,” he said.</p>
<p class="p2">The next kiss began where the last left off, but picked up a sense of urgency. They found their rhythm, and Gwyn gathered his shirt in her fists, bringing him closer to her. She pushed her hips into his, and Azriel deepened the kiss, opening for her to let her tongue explore him. He let his hand at her waist travel to her back and pressed her tighter to him as the rhythm of their kiss picked up. Azriel felt himself grow hard up against her and pulled back, both of them taking the moment to catch their breath.</p>
<p class="p2">“Why did you stop?” she asked.</p>
<p class="p2">Azriel’s eyes flicked down to the ever increasing bulge in his pants. Gwyn thought she had felt a burgeoning erection when she pressed herself against him, but hadn’t wanted to assume. Hadn’t thought of herself as the cause for such a thing in a long time. It thrilled her to know the effect she had on him.</p>
<p class="p2">“Should we take care of that?” her voice was like silk. Gwyn watched the effect her words had on him.</p>
<p class="p2">Azriel grimaced. “I don’t want to push you into something,” he ground out. “Just because I’m hard doesn’t mean we need to do anything, that you need to do anything.” Heshoved a breath out. “Besides, if you want me to be your first, I want to make it special for you,” he said. “To make sure you feel safe the whole time. To feel…cherished.” Gwyn swallowed.</p>
<p class="p2">Azriel drew her closer to him again, his forehead on hers. “I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, you know,” he said. Gwyn’s eyes went wide. “About how gentle we’d be together.” He dipped his mouth next to her ear. “About touching you in ways that would make you moan, whimper, scream in pleasure.” He drew back and watched lust make her eyes hazy, his thumbs drawing lazy strokes where he had planted his large hands on her tiny waist.“Your first time, your first <em>real</em> time, should feel good.” He drew his nose along her creamy throat, from collarbone to jaw. “We can take our time. Focus on you, find out what makes you come with a partner, once you’ve shown me what makes you come when you’re alone,” he said and drew back to watch her face as he delivered a promise. “Because I <em>will </em>make you come,” he said, and released her.</p>
<p class="p2">Gwyn was aroused and at a loss for words for a moment. She gathered herself, blinking rapidly, and said, “Tomorrow night? Would… would tomorrow work for you?”</p>
<p class="p2">“Tomorrow is perfect,” he said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. a little heat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>...you know ;-)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was going to split this in two, but cutting it got awkward, so here you go! i hope this helps to scratch that Gwynriel itch 💜</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Gwyn met him back in the sitting room the next night in dark leggings and a fitted sweater tunic Az hadn’t seen her in before, a cobalt blue. One look at her and Azriel knew she was anxious. “It’s ok to be nervous,” he said, stroking her arm. “We don’t have to do this.”</p><p class="p1">“I want to,” she said.</p><p class="p1">“You call the shots. If at any time you want to stop, we stop. There is no ‘point of no return’ here—that’s not a real thing. Ok?”</p><p class="p1">“Ok.” Gwyn smiled and held out her hand. Azriel took it and held it carefully, so carefully, even as he guided her up to his room. He ate dinner early and taken the extra time to set everything up for her. The fae lights were turned down low, a small fire crackled quietly in the fireplace. Here and there throughout the room, little votive candles threw flickers of light on the red stone walls. No evidence of his many, many weapons, all put away or stored elsewhere. When Gwyn was around him, his shadows didn’t cloak him so much as reach out and explore, flitting around Gwyn’s shoulders and hair. She liked them, like how they sang to her, crooned to her, gently rub against her like tiny affectionate house cats. But tonight they would stay away as much as he could make them, just to make her feel safe and unwatched.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn surveyed his room and loosed a breath, then looked at him and smiled. She reached up and pulled him down to kiss her, slowly, sensually. She pressed her hips into him and he snaked his hands to plant one on her lower back pressing her for firmly against him. The other wound its way into her thick, silky copper hair, a darker burnished red in the low lit room. Gwyn opened her mouth to him and their tongues met softly, slowly. Gwyn let out a small grunt, and Azriel deepened the kiss. Gwyn bit his lip and he groaned into her mouth. She smiled against his lips, having found something he clearly liked. She picked up the tempo and started walking backwards toward the inviting bed, stopping when she felt her legs hit the edge of it.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn rose up on her toes and kissed him a little deeper, a little harder and threw her arms around his neck. Azriel took the hint, picking her up. Gwyn wrapped her legs around his waist nimbly, like they had done this with each other many times before. She could feel his hardness against her core and groaned as she ground against it. Azriel broke their kiss to watch her, moving his hands to support her as she writhed on him. “Oh, Gwyn,” Azriel said. When their gazes met again, the heat the each beheld there was nothing short of fire.</p><p class="p1">Azriel went for her neck, kissing her, licking her, sucking, grazing his teeth to let her know she had options to choose from. He moved them onto the bed, and set her down so carefully, already working on the other side of her neck as she let out a soft “Oh,” when he licked the spot just under her ear. She tilted her head to give him better access, and Azriel gently sucked her earlobe, grazed it with his teeth as he let go, and got another “Oh!” for his trouble. He trailed a hand up from her thigh, running it over her hip, waist, ribs, and stopped. Gwyn grabbed his hand and put it on her breast, and he smiled and started working. Gentle squeezes, caresses. Then he bent his head and kissed the peak of her breast.He drifted his hand lower, lower, skimming her abdomen to softly cup her sex. Gwyn moaned and opened her legs for him. Even through the fabric Az could tell she was excited. He ran his fingertips up and down her seam, slowly, then rubbed the apex of her thighs with his thumb. Gwyn moaned softly again, and moved to remove her sweater. Azriel sat up and watched as she stood and removed not just her sweater, but her boots, socks, and leggings, until she was just in lacy dark blue scraps.</p><p class="p1">“Beautiful,” he breathed. The word was out before he could stop it, but didn’t regret it. Gwyn blushed faintly, but didn’t get shy, even as her undergarments did little to conceal anything. Azriel could clearly see her nipples through the fabric. Her sex was likewise barely hidden behind lace, and he longed to touch, to taste.</p><p class="p1">“Your turn,” she whispered, and bit her lip as she watched Azriel strip. He flexed a little as he did, gave her a little body roll, and she laughed as he smirked at her. Then his pants were off and his swollen length was freed.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn stared at it for a moment, swallowed hard. “I-um. I don’t know if that will fit,” she said bluntly.</p><p class="p1">Azriel swallowed his smile. “Doesn’t have to. Tonight is about you, but I thought if you were naked, it would only be fair that I would be too.” He looked down at his cock and back at Gwyn. “Don’t worry about him.” Gwyn chuckled, still a little nervous, but feeling relieved all the same. “I can put my pants back on if it would make you more comfortable,” he offered.</p><p class="p1">“Oh no, I don’t think that will be necessary,” she said. “Can I?” her voice slipping into something a little darker, a little huskier as she reached her hand out.</p><p class="p1">Azriel hesitated. “Ok, but—“</p><p class="p1">“I know, I know,” she said, mollifying him with lust filled eyes and a smirk. “Tonight is about me.” With that she touched his cock, gently tracing a delicate finger around the head of him before gently gripping him and stroking him, just once. Azriel’s breath hitched and he took her hand off of him and placed it on his chest. Gwyn heard his heart thumping, hard and fast as he drew her close, buried his face in her hair, her shoulder.</p><p class="p1">“You don’t know how good your hand feels on me, Gwyn.” Azriel’s voice was tight. He started running his hands over her back, slowly, teasingly.</p><p class="p1">“Well, why don’t you give me an idea?” she said coyly.</p><p class="p1">He drew back and kissed her, fervently this time, and she met his tempo, beat for beat, until she didn’t. Gwyn drew back, and unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Azriel was back on her, holding cupping her face as they kissed, breathless. Gwyn walked them back to the bed and Azriel once again laid her down. Their lips never left each other. This kiss, this Valkyrie before him, arousal thick in the air. It was everything he told himself for centuries he didn’t deserve. But now that he was here, with her, he didn’t feel undeserving. He felt <em>right.</em></p><p class="p1">Azriel resumed his worship of her neck as his hand wandered closer to her breast. She brought his face back up to hers and kissed him again, so tenderly he ached. “Don’t wait for me,” she said. “Show me how you feel. I trust you…and if I don’t like something, I’ll say so,” she finished. Azriel gazed at her for a moment, his face so open and honest that she kissed him again. Azriel moved to massage her breasts, both this time, and brought his lips to one, gently sucking her nipple into her mouth. He watched her, waiting for a signal that things weren’t alright, that she wanted him to stop. But instead, he saw her beautiful face start to contort in ecstasy, her soft, kiss-swelled peach-pink lips part in a silent O as he worked her breast. He switched to the other. “Oh…yes,” she said.</p><p class="p1">Breast to breast he worked as Gwyn’s arousal grew, her body undulating under him. He started moving down her body, leaving sweet kisses as he traveled south. He worked his lips down to the edge of her lace panties, hooked his finger tips in the waist, and kissed her sex. He had barely looked up to ask when Gwyn said, “Take them off.” Az worked the lace down her hips, marking his progress with his lips and tongue. The noises Gwyn was making were bordering on indecent. He was high on her.</p><p class="p1">“Show me what you do when you’re alone,” he said when she was bare. Gwyn traced a finger down her body, then tracing little circles around her clit, waking it up for a few moments, then tapping it. She closed her eyes and her head fell back and she brought her other hand to her breast. Az started kissing the inside of her thigh. Gwyn opened her legs a little to give him better access and locked eyes with him, bit her lip and nodded, moving her hand off of herself. Azriel dipped his head and gently kissed the top of her sex where her lips met, then licked the same spot. Gwyn opened her legs fully for him, revealing her sex, swelled with desire for him, moisture peaking through her slit. “Beautiful,” he breathed again, and lightly swept his tongue through, slowly, up her slit to the hooded bundle of nerves at the top.</p><p class="p1">“Oh!” Gwyn cried and bucked her hips. Azriel grinned and did again, a little faster this time, and she bucked again. Azriel pushed at her thighs a little to spread her legs a little wider and she let them fell open fully, pulling her folds open before him and, eliciting an “Mmmm” from Gwyn’s pretty mouth. Azriel licked her again, tasting her; dipping his tongue into her core.</p><p class="p1">“You taste so good, Gwyn,” he said, already drunk on her. He attached his mouth to her hood, and discovered the small bead within, flicking it gently with his tongue. Gwyn cried out again, spurring him on. He gently inserted a finger, only an inch and looked up at her while he teased her clit with his tongue, following the same circles she made with her finger, before tapping it with his tongue.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">She knew what he wanted to do, and knew he waiting for her permission, but wasn’t prepared for the stunning image that befell her: the most beautiful male she’d ever seen going down on her and watching as she got off on his mouth. Her core turned molten as she said, “Yes. Please.” Her chest heaved, a worked up and a breathy mess before him. “I want to feel you inside me.”</p><p class="p1">Azriel’s breath hitched at her words, but his eyes never strayed from hers as he inserted one scarred finger into her, then slowly out to the tip, then back in, all in time with his tongue. “Hmmm,” he said as he started massaging her core, picked up the tempo.</p><p class="p1">“I—Azriel, I think I’m—“ He watched her fall over the edge, her back arching head back, fully contorted in ecstasy. He felt her clench around his finger and massaged her through her orgasm. Azriel gave her sex one last kiss before climbing back up to her. She brought his face to hers and kissed him, tasting herself on his lips, his tongue. “That was… I—“ she sat stunned, forgetting what words were as she watched Azriel slip the finger he had worked her with into his mouth and suck it clean. “I want you—inside me,” she ground out.</p><p class="p1">His eyes went wholly dark. “If you want me to stop, we stop, ok?”</p><p class="p1">She nodded and he kissed her again. These kisses were a drug she had needed her whole life and hadn’t realized it until this moment. Azriel positioned himself above her and Gwyn opened her legs for him. He lined himself up at her entrance, so wet, so slick with one orgasm already—Gwyn had never been this wet before. Azriel watched her face, eyes darting to make sure he missed nothing, that he caught any sign that she wanted to stop. Gwyn knew he’d stop before she even said anything. This trust they’d built over months was rock solid—couldn’t be replaced.</p><p class="p1">She gripped him, guided him in, just a couple of inches. “Oh, oh you are big,” she said.</p><p class="p1">“Too big?”</p><p class="p1">She let out a small laugh. “I wouldn’t say ‘too’ big. I think I can work with this.”</p><p class="p1">Azriel huffed a laugh. “I love how blunt you are. And right now, I love how wet you are,” he said.</p><p class="p1">“Just for you,” she said, her voice going dark and husky again at the admission.</p><p class="p1">He pulled out, and pushed in again, relying on her grip on him to dictate when to move. This time he got another few inches further in. She felt so full, so stretched, but there was no pain. Her walls were starting to get used to his continued presence. He pulled out again, and this time, she let him go, and he slid in, nearly fully sheathed within her. He cupped her face and kissed her as he slowly pulled out partway, then gently pushed back in.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn felt her walls relaxing with each slow, sensual roll of Azriel’s hips. She angled her hips up, lifting her legs up and back a little, allowing him in deeper. When he filled her to the hilt, he lifted himself up, studying her face. “Is this ok?” he asked her, concern etched over his perfect face.</p><p class="p1">“It’s perfect,” she said, running her hands over his sculpted chest. “So perfect.”</p><p class="p1">Azriel pulled out part way again and rolled his hips, sliding back in, both of them watching their bodies roll and writhe together as he pumped his cock in and out, gleaming with her arousal. He drifted a hand down and pressed on her clit. Gwyn felt pleasure build and build in her lower back. She reached up and captured his face. “Faster,” she whispered. Azriel did as he was told, faster, but no harder, his thumb rubbing circles on her clit. She came hard and suddenly around him, her core clenching him, and milking his own pleasure from him as she came one more time.</p><p class="p1">Azriel slumped over, breathing hard for a moment. Gwyn sighed, her legs shaking uncontrollably, and held Azriel to her. “So, that’s sex, huh?” she said, and Azriel let out a bark of laughter—infectious laughter, that Gwyn giggling with him. He looked up at her and brushed her hair out of her face.</p><p class="p1">“How are you feeling?” he asked. Unasked questions were laced in with it—<em>was it ok, did it hurt, do you regret it…would you like to do it again?</em></p><p class="p1">Gwyn considered, taking stock, looking at the ceiling as if the answers might appear there. “I feel…amazing. Clear. Happy,” she said and locked eyes with him again. She’d never seen him look so relieved, so happy. And when he kissed her, Gwyn could swear she was glowing.</p><p class="p1">“Brace yourself.” He pulled out of her and the sudden emptiness almost hurt. Gwyn gave him a fake pout, which he cleared with a kiss.</p><p class="p1">“Bathroom?” she asked. Azriel pointed, and she shuffled in to clean herself up, his seed spilling down her legs.</p><p class="p1">When she came back out, Azriel was under the covers, his chest bare, a hand thrown casually behind his head. He looked like a model on the cover of one of Nesta’s smutty books. Azriel peeled back the blankets back for her and she got in, curled up into his side, mindful of his wings. Az dipped down and kissed the top of her head, and she sighed. “You can stay here tonight if you want,” he said.</p><p class="p1">“Mmm…yes, please.” Azriel gave her shoulders a squeeze.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn was tracing the tattoos on Azriel’s chest, the outlines of corded muscle on his abdomen, utterly comfortable, when she startled at the sudden guttural cry from the floor below, swiftly followed by a “Fuck, Nes!”</p><p class="p1">Azriel ran a hand down his face. “I guess Cassian and Nesta are home,” he said, his voice laced with equal parts amusement and agitation. Gwyn threw her head back and laughed.</p><p class="p1">“Do you hear them all the time?” she asked, knowing that Nesta and Cassian were still in the throws of their mating frenzy. Azriel moved his hand back to caressing Gwyn’s shoulder and back, and just sighed and shook his head. Gwyn laughed again, harder this time. “Is this why youstay at the townhouse so often?” Azriel nodded and gently flicked a nosey shadow off of her shoulder with a pointed look. Gwyn paused and rested her chin on her fist on Azriel’s chest and gazed at him. Content. Then from downstairs came a muffled, “AZ. GET YOUR FUCKING SHADOWS OUT OF HERE.” Azriel snorted and Gwyn dissolved into giggles. Her eyes roved his gorgeous face as her mind worked.</p><p class="p1">“Do you think—could we maybe—use the townhouse? Next time?“ she asked tentatively.</p><p class="p1">Hope and elation turned Azriel’s features into a thing of pure beauty. “Next time?” he whispered.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn nodded.</p><p class="p1">“Wherever you want, love. Whenever you want me,” he said. “I’m yours.”</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. a little smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gwyn is going stir crazy waiting for Azriel to come back from a mission for Rhys. Some angst, some (mild) smut, some friendship stuff.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Azriel had been called away on Night Court duties, and so it was left to Gwyn to satisfy herself until she could see him again. She ran through every touch, every caress from their first night together, every look, every smile. The giddiness of feeling his hands on her, of him tasting her, played at random during her day, making her late for things, distracted, happy, but a mess. At night the memories streamed uninterrupted. Her hand drifting down, teasing and touching herself as she replayed the feeling of Azriel’s mouth on her sex, his finger massaging her inside. The first time she made herself come she cried out in surprise and clamped the hand that had been on her breast over her mouth and laughed silently through her orgasm, shaking.</p><p class="p1">But it had been nearly a month, a <em>month</em> since she had last seen him. A month with only one message directly from him in his rocky script, hastily scribbled during a rare free moment to let her know that he was thinking of her, and that he would return soon. But what the hell did “soon” mean? Cassian passed on other messages from his brother, all of them short, most of them just nods and knowing looks. He’d been there before, he understood what it was to go with such limited contact with someone he cared about in a perilous situation, not knowing how it would play out and unable to step in.</p><p class="p1">So Gwyn kept her training, kept bringing in new Valkyrie recruits, kept working in the library, kept, kept, kept going. She felt so silly complaining to Nesta and Emerie, but having her sisters with her gave her courage and company.</p><p class="p1">“He does this all the time; he’ll be fine,” Emerie reasoned during their break in training.</p><p class="p1">“In the meantime, at night, just pretend your hand is his,” supplied Nesta. The others broke into to snorts and shocked giggling, Gwyn loudly sputtered and spitted out the water she had only just sipped, earning a look of reproach from Cassian as he worked with the new recruits. Nesta leveled a look at him that brought color to his cheeks. He coughed and returned to the recruits, stumbling over his words a little.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn collected herself, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I mean, that’s basically what I’ve been doing.” She couldn’t tell if she was flushing further, or if she was still heated from the exercise.</p><p class="p1">Nesta patted her on the shoulder. “He’ll be home before you know it, and absolutely itching to please you.”</p><p class="p1">“I hope so,” murmured Gwyn.</p><p class="p1">Emerie bit her lip, looking off somewhere over the heads of the rest of the Valkyries in training. She was silent for awhile, long enough for her sisters to notice. She looked from Nesta to Gwyn and put her hands up. “Totally supportive here, not jealous of all the sex you two have in your lives, promise,” she said.</p><p class="p1">Nesta rolled her eyes. “Totally convincing. Totally.” She cocked her head to the side. “Want us to try to set you up with someone? You know they’re pretty open about things down here…what’s your type? Because I know a stunning blonde—“</p><p class="p1">“Enough,” Emerie cut in. “I appreciate the attempt, but I don’t know if I’m ready…” she trailed off.</p><p class="p1">“Ready for some truly hot sex? I bet she’d be into it,” Nesta pressed on.</p><p class="p1">Emerie paused, considering. She squinted at Nesta. “Will it get you to shut up about it?” Nesta grinned and nodded. Emerie sighed. “Fine,” she said as she blew out a breath.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn clapped her hands softly in glee. “Yay, everyone’s getting laid!”</p><p class="p1">“Too loud, G,” said Nesta, snickering.</p><p class="p1">“Try using your inside voice for this shit,” Emerie said.</p><p class="p1">But Gwyn was happy her friends had such happiness and thus could not be deterred from expressing her cheerfulness, for as long as it would last.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Another month passed. No messages.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Then another.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">The weather was turning colder, a chill of fall in the air. Gwyn had stayed after training ended to work on some hand to hand combat drills, slowly walking through the motions, perfecting her form before she picked up the pace. The wind picked up, swirling early falling leaves around her, stray hairs whipping around her face. And then Azriel was there. Taller and somehow impossibly more beautiful than her memory let her linger on. Dark circles under his eyes made his bright hazel eyes stand out, almost glow in the late afternoon light. Those dark circles were the only things detracting from his perfect features. Gwyn was breathless, and for a moment, everything stopped. But then she was running, closing the distance, and he was sweeping her up into his arms, his face in her neck, breathing her scent in deep.</p><p class="p1">Tears stung her eyes, and Gwyn let out a laugh. “You’re really here,” she breathed as Azriel set her down, her hands on either side of his face.</p><p class="p1">“I’m really here,” he murmured, his hands stroking her back, her hair. “I’m so sorry I took so long, and the messages—“</p><p class="p1">Gwyn placed a graceful finger on Azriel’s perfect lips. “I get it. I know you—who you are, what you do, the secrecy you operate under.” Azriel took her hand gently in his and gently nipped at her fingertip, which earned him a small smirk from Gwyn as heat pooled in her core. “I won’t pretend it was easy being away from you for so long, but I get it. You never have to explain yourself to me,” she said quietly.</p><p class="p1">They stayed like that for a moment, staring into one another’s eyes before Azriel asked, “Do…do you have anywhere you need to be? Plans for tonight? Maybe even...tomorrow?”</p><p class="p1">Gwyn’s eyes lit up at the implications his questions laid before her. She bit her lip and shook her head.</p><p class="p1">“Trust me?” he asked. Hoped.</p><p class="p1">“Implicitly,” she said. Meant it.</p><p class="p1">And with that, Azriel winnowed them into the townhouse.</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>like my other work, little editing has happened. the next (smuttier!) chapter will go up soon!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. a little fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeah i did not edit this, but i mean well, i guess?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">“Normally this place is warded so nobody but Feyre and Rhysand can get through past the breezeway, but since they have taken up permanent residence in their riverside estate, they’ve gifted me the use of the townhouse,” Azriel explained as he opened the door into the townhouse foyer.</p><p class="p1">“It’s lovely,” Gwyn said. “Not to sound indelicate,” she began, “but do you—“</p><p class="p1">“I don’t have my own place, if that’s what you were about to ask,” Azriel said. “I spend so little time in one place that I use inns or diplomatic housing, depending on the mission, but when I’m in Velaris I’m usually either at the estate, or up at the House of Wind—“</p><p class="p1">“But with the new baby, and then the House being gifted to Nesta, and the two of them in the throws of their mating bond—“ Gwyn supplied.</p><p class="p1">“Rhys thought it would be helpful if I had another option,” Azriel finished.</p><p class="p1">“He’s a thoughtful friend.” Gwyn grinned over her shoulder at him, and Azriel’s heart took a swan dive at the sight of the light in her beautiful teal eyes. Gwyn turned to face him, took his hands in hers, only stopping when her body and his were nearly flush, inches away from falling into each other.</p><p class="p1">“I’ve missed you,” she said again, her eyes searching his. He dropped one of her hands to tuck a lock of her shining copper hair behind her pointed ear.</p><p class="p1">“I know,” he said, and braced himself, biting his lip and grinning as Gwyn smacked his upper arm and gave him a playful shove.</p><p class="p1">“You absolute ASS!” But Gwyn was smiling too, her eyes narrowed in annoyance.</p><p class="p1">“But,” Azriel began, reaching for her, pulling her to him, “not as much as I missed you.”</p><p class="p1">Gwyn rolled her eyes at that. “Yeah, ok, sure.”</p><p class="p1">Azriel stopped rubbing her back for a moment. “Mmm, would you like me to prove it to you, love?” His voice was dark and husky and promised many, many things, and went right to Gwyn’s core.</p><p class="p1">Her lashes flutteredas the prospect of the evening before her hit her. “Yes, actually, I would,” she said. “Perhaps for hours, even. Repeatedly.” She bit her lip and watched Azriel’s hazel eyes track the movement. He caught her gaze once more.</p><p class="p1">“I think that can be arranged,” he growled, and scooped her up. With a boom of his wings, nearly too large for the foyer, he shot them up to the second floor balcony, skipping the stairs entirely, and carried her into the guest room.</p><p class="p1">He had been here for a few hours, cleaning himself up after his travels, sitting with himself for everything he’d done, everything he’d had to do before going over the already clean space making sure nothing was out of place, no weapons strewn about from any of the well (overly) equipped guests that had stayed there over the many decades Rhys had owned the townhouse. Candles covered every surface that couldn’t be potentially used for their love-making, leaving the room gorgeously low-lit and warm. Cozy pillows and faux fur throws covered the floor at the foot of the bed, adorned a lounge at the opposite side of the room—Azriel had thought this through and wanted options for all ways he wanted to make Gwyn come.</p><p class="p1">Azriel set Gwyn down at the threshold and she gave the large, cream and beige room a once-over before turning back to see Azriel looking pensive. “Perfect,” she breathed and shook her head. “You spoil me.” She smiled and could swear she saw something break a little behind Azriel’s eyes. He leaned down to meet her lips, and gentle, sweet, and slow kisses quickly changed tempo to something hotter, searing, needy.</p><p class="p1">Azriel dug his hands into her back, pressing her to him as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. His hardening erection pressed against her, and Gwyn adjusted herself to allow room to reach down and massage Azriel’s cock through his leathers. He swore and grabbed her hand, breathing hard. “No, you—you first. If you keep doing that I—“ their foreheads pressed together as they collected their breaths for a moment.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn ripped her top off, revealing her exercise bra, a new one she found while shopping recently with Nesta. Lightly supportive—in fact, just barely supportive, but sexy, sloping enough in the front that her cleavage was on display. She had a few of them, had taken to wearing them during practice sometimes, hoping for a moment just like this one. “Well then. I guess you’d better get started. Something about…making up for lost time, I think it was?” Azriel marveled at her for a moment, then slipped his hands from her waist to her ribs, his thumbs stroking the sides of her breasts as he dipped his head to them, licking, kissing, nipping at the flesh he could reach.</p><p class="p1">“I like this,” he growled as he ran a hooked finger around the neckline of the bra, just barely pausing as the top of his finger ran past first one nipple, then the other. He pulled on the bra just slightly he did so, revealing a little more of her breasts to him. “So I think you should take it off before I vanish it.”When Azriel’s eyes met hers they were hazy with lust, and Gwyn could scent his arousal, mixing with her own. In seconds the bra was gone, her pants, too.</p><p class="p1">“Naked,” she gestured at him. “Now, please.”</p><p class="p1">“So bossy,” he smirked, but did as he was told. It would never get old, watching him undress, seeing every inch of him, Gwyn decided. Azriel’s body was perfect, from every scar to every carefully hewn muscle. Azriel reached for Gwyn, drawing her flush against him, her soft breasts pressing into his chest. He leaned down and slanted his lips against hers, seeking. She responded in kind, snaking her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her, even as he gripped her to him as if he was unwilling to ever to let her go.</p><p class="p1">Azriel flipped them around so the back of Gwyn’s knees hit the edge of the bed. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Azriel laid them down on the bed a little less than gracefully, setting Gwyn giggling. It was infectious, and Azriel couldn’t help but smile at her joy. It lit his features, and Gwyn stopped at the staggering beauty she found there, tracing his face with a delicate finger before gently leaning up to kiss him. It started sweet, but quickly heated up.</p><p class="p1">Azriel hovered over her, kissing his way down her throat to her breasts so achingly slow. Gwyn thought she might combust and wanted him inside her, faster. But she had waited for so long for this night, and she didn’t want her pleasure to end, so she let him take his time, let every touch stoke the flame inside her heart, let the desire she felt for him pool hot and wet in her core.</p><p class="p1">Azriel scented her arousal and hummed a gentle laugh against the pulse in her throat, then gave it a lick. Gwyn moaned and closed her eyes. Azriel finally made his way to her breast, taking her nipple into his mouth and sucking hard as he massaged her other breast. Gwyn groaned and opened her eyes to find Azriel looking up at her through his lashes. The sight made her clit throb. Azriel gently scraped his teeth against her nipple and she cried out. He licked away the small hurt and moved to her other breast, never dropping eye contact. It was almost too much for Gwyn and she felt the familiar wonderment of how she had gotten so lucky start to creep in. But she dismissed the thought, letting it run right past her, keeping her in the moment as Azriel sucked and licked and nipped at her breast hard enough to make her whimper, her back arched off the bed.</p><p class="p1">Then he was off her breast and before she could begin to process her disappointment about it he was licking up her slit, and Gwyn cried out. Azriel inserted a finger into her and hummed his approval at the wetness that greeted him. Then another finger. “Mmmm, is all this for me?” he asked her, his pupils blown, a lock of hair falling over his forehead as he looked up at her and dipped his mouth to taste her once more. Gwyn gave an incoherent moan in response. He kept at it, licking and sucking her clit as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. He added another finger and Gwyn gasped. Azriel looked up to see her eyes closed, watched as her mouth formed a perfect O. She whimpered as he picked up the pace, drawing her throbbing bud into his mouth and gently scraping it with his teeth. She fell apart at that, her back arched as she cried out. He gently stroked her through it, leaving a gentle kiss on her apex.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn shook a little as she came down, and drew Azriel up toward her. He wiped his mouth and kissed her with the same gentleness he’d promised her those months ago. He let Gwyn push him onto his back, mindful of his wings. “I want to try something,” was all Gwyn said before she straddled him. Azriel was intrigued.</p><p class="p1">“Whatever you want, love. I’m yours,” he said. The look on Gwyn’s face whenever he called her “love” was nearly devastating. He didn’t have much time to marvel at beauty above him before she slanted her lips to his, seeking him with her tongue and tasting herself on his. She kissed down his throat, his impossibly perfect chest and abs, until she reached his hardened length. She backed up until she was between his legs and ran her hand up and down his cock. She watched Azriel’s eyes roll back in his head before he closed them and gave in to sensation. Gwyn closed her fingers around him and started pumping, slow at first, but picking up the pace before taking the head of him into her mouth.</p><p class="p1">“Oh!” Azriel cried out.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn took that as direction to keep going, so she did. She ran her tongue up the little slit at the tip, eliciting a groan from him. Gwyn swirled her tongue around his tip and then started sucking and bobbing her head, taking more of him into her mouth with every movement, pumping her hand in time with her mouth. Azriel swore, and it was all he could do to stop from bucking up into her mouth. Gwyn nearly had him to the back of her throat when she pulled off of him with a pop. She kept her hand on him, and readjusted herself to line his cock up with her entrance.</p><p class="p1">Gwyn sunk onto him, taking him all the way in, slowly, so achingly slowly, before pulling all the way out, then doing it again. Then she started to move on him, pulsing, writhing. Every movement felt heightened, lengthened, every touch intoxicating. Time had no meeting, and nothing meant anything if they weren’t touching each other. Azriel held her hips, rolling his hips up to meet her as she rode him. Gwyn brushed her hair up and off of her back and neck as the heat rose. She opened her eyes and her breath hitched as she took in the besotted look on Azriel’s beautiful face, his eyes darkened in lust. She felt her pleasure start to build, but this was too delicious to end quite yet. Gwyn slowed her writhing and squeezed her walls around Azriel’s cock. He closed his eyes and swore as Gwyn did it again. Again. And again.</p><p class="p1">Azriel kept his rhythm as his hands traveled up her waist and ribs to cup and massage her breasts, rolling her nipples between his skilled fingers. Gwyn closed her eyes and arched her back as she let her pleasure overtake her, an unearthly guttural cry unleashed from her as Azriel pumped and pumped into her, his hands back on her hips again, pressed a thumb to her clit and coaxed another orgasm out of her before he succumbed to his own pleasure. Azriel reached for Gwyn, drawing her to him. She was still shaking, and the movement elicited another small quake from her. She giggled through it and let him fall out of her as she settled into Azriel’s side, sated…for the moment.</p><p class="p1">“I think you promised something about ‘all night’ and ‘possibly tomorrow’?” she teased.</p><p class="p1">Azriel laughed and ran a hand over his face and then looked over at Gwyn, sincerity and joy etched into his beautiful features. “As long as you want, love,” he said.</p><p class="p2"> </p>
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